Do We Bring the OLD into the NEW?

Do you ever feel like you are in the same relationship with different people? Or in the same situation or challenges with different people? I have to wonder, do we ever really learn our lessons from past relationships, past situations, past challenges or do we just bring the old into the new and wonder why we experience Daja Vu…

Are we just reliving the same behavioral patterns, the same way of thinking in our current relationships that we had in the past? Or are we starting fresh?

As I look back on my past relationships; intimate, not so intimate, friendships, family dynamics, business decisions I ask myself, do I have a pattern and a way of thinking that may have played a part in how my relationships functioned? And if so, am I able to see and understand why things have ended the way they did, currently have a disconnect or have been successful… Is there something I am missing? And if there is, what am I not understanding about myself that influences the type of relationships I am unconsciously reliving.

Pretty sure we don’t wake one day and say, “I think today I want to fail at this relationship, stop talking to family members, screw over my friends, or mess up my business connections.” And if we do wake up with these daily thoughts then you deserve to fail at relationships, because I don't know who would want to live in this mindset.

What do we want in relationships?

We all want the same things, we want success in our relationships with people who want success for us, support, belief, faith, and who listen and understand us. We all want the same things… The real question is why aren’t we achieving what we want and attracting these types of desires in our relationships?

Unconsciously I believe we carry the old into the new before we understand the why. It’s only when things are challenged we consciously shift our focus and try to understand the why.

If we consciously understand the why before challenges rise, we might be able to work through instead of against the situation/s.

This is where it goes wrong, we take the good moments for granted creating a fantasy within our minds of living in this moment forever, that we forget about working on our inner challenges and our relationship challenges. Just like anything else relationships need conditioning, attention and love or things will be missed and overlooked.

Please don’t take me the wrong way, I want everyone to be in the moment but don’t forget about self in the moment and the vision for the relationship in the moment.

So why?

Patterns are easily overlooked because we have become so accustom to our way of thinking, being, reacting, and living. We don’t realize that we have a pattern until we consciously make efforts to understand the why behind the reasons and outcomes.

If you take the time to stop and think about what you do as soon as you wake up in the morning, I bet 99% of the time you do the same things in the same order. This is an unconscious pattern that you have programmed within you. For example, I wake up each morning, go to the bathroom, go to the kitchen, take care of the pets, cook breakfast for everyone, make coffee, meditate, drink coffee, read or write, then wake up my son. This is my morning pattern and it is very rare that I do anything different. We at times live in auto pilot.

When it comes to relationship patterns, I’m no expert but I feel a lot of how we are in our relationships develop from childhood. Witnessing relationship patterns of people around us, what society labels as a healthy relationship, our own experiences and the fantasy relationship we build in our own minds. All these factors play a big part in how we are in each one of our relationships and how we treat people in these relationships. I am not only talking about intimate relationships, all types of relationships.

Pause for a moment, get your THOUGHT SPACE JOURNAL and try to go back in time and write out what types of relationships you experienced or witnessed as a child. Don't think just write, allow your free writing to take over the page without thinking to hard, I want your purity to come out without alterations. Just keep in mind that some stuff might trigger emotions that you have not felt or dealt with in awhile or ever. It is fine to get emotional.

Now look over your journal entry and see if it matches how you might react or be in a relationship currently or in your past relationships. You might also find that you are a total opposite of what you saw growing up. It's really interesting to look back and analyze.

I am very curious to see what you find, please share with me through the comments below or email me at thoughtspaceandmore@gmail.com

So I leave you with this… Are we Pre-set before we Re-set? And is it over before it begins?

“Take the time to devote self to self…Understanding self inside out in any situation without false alterations.”

Much Love and Light.

Humbly,

Jacquelyn S. Geringer

“May your guides, your angels and our maker continue to bless you and your loved ones… May your paths clear and may your new chapter bring you enlightenment, joy, peach and fulfillment…”